Abby and Norma #575
16 November, 2009 - Posted by: erika
Even though I'm writing this in June, I know beyond doubt that most of America will be prematurely obsessing about Christmas by the time you read it. This is the only kind of current event I feel safe discussing in my comic, considering how far in advance I compose each strip.
TEXT OF COMIC:
You know what I want for Christmas?
A hippopotamus?
Your two front teeth?
A hippopotamus's two front teeth?
No. I want people to stop thinking about Christmas.
You don't like Christmas?
I like it just fine. But I want people to stop thinking about it until, at the very earliest, the beginning of December. It's not even Thanksgiving yet! Why are people getting ready for Christmas already?
Well, Christmas is a big holiday. If you have a lot of friends and relatives, just shopping for presents can take months. And I fail to see why you are phrasing this demand as a request for a Christmas gift.
I'm using the system against itself. Because everyone's prematurely worked up about Christmas, they will listen closely to me when I say I want something for Christmas. Then, when they grant my Christmas wish, it will eliminate their obsession with Christmas, thus destroying the system.
But if they give you what you want on Christmas, it'll be too late for them to stop thinking about Christmas before December.
My one, simple wish is to get my present early. Would people really ruin my Christmas by denying me that?
I think you're better off asking for the hippopotamus teeth, Abby. I bet I can find you some on eBay.
Jos - 16 November, 2009 - 01:21:50