Abby and Norma --- by Erika Hammerschmidt --- Jun 25, 2007

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TEXT OF COMIC:

I've invented a new system of measuring distance that's more like how we measure time.

So far, I've come up with names for the first ten feet of whatever you're measuring. They're called Arlmun, Marmague, Skrunge, Uffle, Bongaline, Clompton, Vengaron, Skibler, Framity and Dwamp.

Arlmun, Skrunge, Bongaline, Vengaron, Skibler and Dwamp all have twelve inches. But Uffle, Clompton and Framity each have eleven inches. Marmague has nine inches, except when the object you're measuring is green. Then it has ten inches.

That is, unless the object is green and tastes sour, in which case Marmague has nine inches. The only exception is when it's green, tastes sour and costs more than fifty dollars. Then Marmague has ten inches again.

What is green, tastes sour and costs more than fifty dollars?

Who knows. Maybe a cucumber that was found in Britney Spears' garbage can.