Vienna Journal

Vienna Journal, January to June 2003

Dedicated to all the students who shared this semester in Germany and Austria with me. We didn't have that many chances to spend time together, and I have never had the world's best social skills, so it took me a long time to get close to you... but I did eventually, and I'm going to miss you now. If any of you have any suggested changes for this page, or any words of your own to add, please send them to me.

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Thu 1/2 18:23

I am going to use the 24 hour clock during this semester because it is what they use in Europe, and writing 18:23 takes less time & space than writing 6:23 p.m.

Mom and I got to Amsterdam this morning, when it was still last night at home (we lost about 8 hours in the time zone change). Eventually we got out of the Netherlands and into Germany by train, and rented a car.

We spent all of today trying to find our way around: first getting to the Go-One place, where Mom wanted to test a

Go-One pedal-powered vehicle , and later finding a restaurant for dinner and a hotel to spend the night.

Streets make NO SENSE. Not anywhere in the world. I am fed up with streets for today. I just want to go to sleep here at the hotel, but I can't do that for another few hours because I have to get onto the right sleep schedule for the time zone I'm in. Mom advised me to do that, anyway, though she's not encouraging me much by being asleep herself right now.

Sat 1/4 20:09

We took trains from Passau, where we stayed last night, to Vienna, where we are now. Actually, we're in a small town called Maria Ellend, near Vienna. We are spending the night at the house of our relatives Wolfgang & Lotte.

Tomorrow we may visit other friends and relatives, like Uli and Farzan, and perhaps Onkel Karl & Tante Hansi. And on the 6th mom and I go to Prien and part company for another few months.

I am excited, though nervous.

Mon 1/6 11:13

Yesterday, as expected, we met with Uli & Farzan & Karl & Hansi in the morning. Later we visited the Vienna technical museum and saw a display about bicycles, which was fascinating (they even had a Go-One).

We are on the train from Maria Ellend to Salzburg, where Mom will get on a northbound train and leave me to take the train to Prien and then take the taxi to the Goethe Institut where I will be meeting the group.

We will arrive in Salzburg in about half an hour. It has snowed a great deal and every branch is coated in white.

Tue 1/7 12:43

Oh, no. I don't even know how to begin.

I've gotten to Prien and spent my first night at the

Goethe Institut. Everything has changed and it is all HORRIBLE.

I am not fitting in AT ALL. When I make a joke no one even knows it's a joke. There are people who are sympathetic enough to pay a little attention to me, but no one who is like me, at all, even a little bit. I cried for hours last night about what an idiot I've made of myself trying to talk to these people.

And that's not even my biggest problem. It turns out I can't register for classes without an Augsburg transcript, and Mom and I requested one when I got back from Mexico, but it hadn't been sent to us yet by the time I had to leave for Europe, and I don't know when it will be, and the internet in the library is closed today so I can't even contact my mom. I don't know how soon I absolutely need to have the transcript, and I'm afraid to ask because I know I will probably burst out crying again. I hate crying in front of near-strangers.

I also hate the fact that I can't use my laptop in

my room because it has a grounded plug and my room doesn't seem to have a grounded outlet. We went to all the trouble of finding an adaptor to convert a grounded US plug to a grounded European one, and then when I plug it into the outlet in my room, sparks start coming out. They say they will ask the Technik guys to look at it tomorrow, but I can't do anything today.

Why does everything have to go wrong? Why?

18:06

I am a little calmer now. Ruth, the sort of leader of the group, told me she must have the transcript by the middle of the month and she will email my mom telling her so. That gives me enough time, maybe.

I have also found out that my plug works without sparks if I put it in a different socket on the power strip, there may have just been something wrong with the one I was trying.

I still don't have the internet in my room, and I don't think I will get it because the available net connection is dial-up and my laptop probably can only do ethernet. I don't know if the dorms in Vienna will have an ethernet connection, when we go there for four months after our two months in Prien.

But I can still type papers & stuff, and I will be able to use the library internet when I pay the fee. I used it once yesterday before I knew it cost money. It works fine, although I am still not used to German keyboards.

Wed 1/8 16:19

I am feeling much better about the group. We are getting along fine now. I guess my initial reaction was just from not knowing them very well. I do not know them completely yet, but I know them better than before.

I have paid the monthly internet fee at the library and can now use the net there if I can find a time that it is open and not completely occupied.

My laundry is washing.

Last night my roommate moved to another room without telling me, and I came home to find someone else in her bed. No problem, a girl has a perfect right to get a different room if she wants one, and the new roommate is very nice too, it was just a bit of a surprise. For a few moments I thought maybe I was in the wrong room. It was kind of funny, actually.

I'm having fun in general. This afternoon I learned my way around town somewhat. I bought some postcards and stamps, & wrote to my family. I'll mail them when I figure out where I'm supposed to.

Fri 1/10 10:49

Yesterday I mailed my postcards. It turns out there's no place to mail them except the post office.

I also checked my email. It turns out you have to sign up for a computer to use and a time to use it, even if you've paid the monthly fee. I guess that makes sense, but for some reason I wasn't expecting it.

I managed to get online for an hour, though. Some of my friends on Star Trek newsgroups live in Germany and I might like to visit them on weekends.

18:49

I wrote the previous entry during a break from the long morning class. (Classes go from 8:30 am to 1 pm.)

After class, anyway, we went out in a boat to the island. There are two main islands in the Chiemsee, the big lake near which the town of Prien is located. One is called Herrenchiemsee or Herreninsel (island of men) and the other is Frauenchiemsee or Fraueninsel (island of women). The Herreninsel has one of King Ludwig's famous castles on it, and the Fraueninsel has a church with a convent.

We visited the Herreninsel today. The rooms in the castle are decadent beyond description. I forgot my camera, but photography wasn't allowed in the castle anyway, and there wasn't much else to see outside. The fountains were covered for the winter and the sculptures were hidden under little protective buildings that looked like outhouses.

Maybe it would have been fun to get a picture of those, actually. And the trees were pretty, all covered with snow.

Everything is pretty around here. Prien is a really picturesque town with little statues tucked into corners, like

this one of a man who looks as if he is pledging his undying love to a fish. And lots of places at the Goethe Institut have a beautiful

view . There are great

sunrises even from my bedroom window.

Sat 1/11 20:28

Today we took a train to Munich. We saw many interesting things, including a church called

St. Michael's , a statue of a

warthog , a statue of a

fish , a church called

Frauenkirche , the little short

building in front of it (I would probably have been able to rest my elbows on the roof), a cathedral-like

Rathaus on Marienplatz with little

shops in the bottom of it, and a

building with statues where Hitler gave a speech once.

It was freezing cold but fascinating. I talked a lot with some of the other students and now we know each other another little bit more. I am really not scared or upset at all now.

Sun 1/12 11:40

The library is closed Sundays so I can't go online now, but I signed up for 2 to 3 pm tomorrow.

Tomorrow I must also ask whether I can try plugging my laptop in to see if maybe it can do a dial-up connection, or if one isn't allowed to plug anything in until one has paid for it, in which case I won't bother.

I miss the internet, though. I got more chances to use it in Mexico than here, which is not what I expected. I feel cut off from my family & friends at home.

And I am going to find it hard to arrange visits with my internet friends who live in Germany, if I can't contact them frequently. I'll have to make sure to sign up for net use whenever I can, and maybe get a phone card, though they are complicated to use.

Mon 1/13 13:49

Done with class for today. Quite a bit of homework to do, but it can wait until after my hour online. I am still going online in the library. I have decided not to bother trying to set my laptop up with a dial-up connection. It's quite likely not to work, it would cost money, and I am not going to be here all that long.

I am having the same experience with German that I had with Spanish when I went to Mexico: I am realizing that my German is actually not perfect but very limited. I am doing well in the class, but I find myself making the same little errors I have made for years.

Maybe I have a long way to go before I can be a translator.

Tue 1/14 3:41

A strange dream that I can't remember woke me up before two this morning, and I have been trying to sleep ever since. I am not sure if I have woken my roommate up or if she is just sleeping restlessly.

Last night we watched an unusual movie about a guy who is in love with a woman and then gets invited to a club for gay men and falls in love with this guy in a dress, and then finds out that he's gotten his girlfriend pregnant and has to marry her, so he does, but she's freaked out because he is having an affair with a man, and right after the kid is born she tells him she never wants to see him again, and the last scene is a conversation between him and his male lover, but he doesn't seem sure where things will go from there, like who he really loves, or whether his relationship with the man will work out, or whether the girl will ever take him back, or what's going to happen to the baby, so it's kind of a sad ending.

The movie had a lot of funny parts, though. But I didn't understand everything because it was in German and they all spoke pretty fast & not very clearly.

11:08

I finally got to sleep after lying awake until after 5 thinking about the movie and other stuff. I slept until shortly before my alarm, and got up and had a good breakfast and went to class. It's a break in class now. I have somehow managed to stay awake in class this time. I'll spend half an hour on the net this afternoon, then do homework and maybe laundry.

Thu 1/16 19:08

I have arranged to meet my friend Birgit from the Star Trek groups this weekend, in fact Saturday, meaning I would leave for Hamburg tomorrow.

I have two main options. I might leave on a train at 2:40 pm, change trains in Augsburg around 4:15, and get to Hamburg sometime after 9, then spend the night in a hotel and meet her Saturday. Otherwise, I might leave at 9:10 pm, get to Munich at 10:09, switch to another train, sleep in the train and get to Hamburg at 7:50 am on Saturday, when I could call her and arrange to meet.

In either case I would want to get to the Bahnhof as early as possible tomorrow, to make sure I'll have a place reserved, and to get a phone card so I can call her to plan a visit. I'll most likely head for the Bahnhof right after class ends at 1.

Fri 1/17 16:13

I did it! I reserved a place on the overnight train, and I got a phone card and called Birgit-- it's really not so complicated at all.

She will meet me tomorrow at noon. All I have to do is get on a train tonight at 9:10, get off in Munich, get on another train, go to sleep, wake up, get out in Hamburg at 7:50, and find stuff to do while I wait to meet her.

This is so cool! And I'm already planning to meet a couple other newsgroup friends, Vanasati and Arachne.

19:00

Seven pm and restless as heck. Can't wait! Train is around 9:10. Should probably leave 8:30 just to make sure I get there in time. Not that the Bahnhof is a very long walk from here. But I can't wait to get started on this venture ASAP.

I have hardly ever planned a trip like this all on my own, and I think I am actually going to pull it off successfully, and I am pretty darn pleased with myself. Maybe Erika is not as incompetent as she seemed!

20:38

Waiting at the Bahnhof now. Only half an hour left until my train comes.

21:26

Finally in the train! Just have to wait until we get to Munich's east station in maybe an hour. Then I can get on the train to Hamburg & relax for the night.

22:40

Man, this

sleeping car is nice. My own little bunk bed & everything. When I reserved a "Liegeplatz" (lying-down place) I expected a seat that reclined really far, like the seats in one of the trains I rode with Mom. This is a real bed. There were also "Schlafplaetze" (sleeping places) available-- I wonder what those are like. I just hope I get up for my alarm clock.

Sat 1/18 5:40

I got up way before my alarm clock, in fact. I'm hungry. I think I'll eat some of the strawberry candies I bought at the station, and the rest of my chocolate. Wow, there is good candy in Germany. Milka Bars rock. The strawberry things bring back a vague nostalgia... I must have eaten something like them on one of my previous trips to Europe.

10:01

I made it successfully to the Hamburg Hauptbahnhof (a little late) and wandered around the city for a while, then had something to eat. The

bathroom here is really strange-looking and cost me 50 euro-cents to use.

But the streets and buildings in the city are interesting. The train station is so fancy-looking I had to get a picture, and so big that I had to take separate pictures of the

front part and the

back part .

I have two bags because I brought a change of clothes and all my other overnight stuff (in case I don't get back until Sunday) plus my costume.

See, there are lots of masquerade balls around this time of year, and I want to go to one at some point. So a few days ago I bought some cardboard and silvery sticky paper and sequins, and made something that was supposed to be a robot costume but ended up looking like a cross between a suit of armor and something a Star Trek babe would wear.

I thought Birgit would get a kick out of seeing it, so I brought it along. And this morning in the city I also bought a skirt and some rings to go with it. I think it's pretty cool, and I hope I get to visit Birgit's house so I can try it on and show her how I look in it. But she lives about an hour away, so I don't know if we will go there. We might just wander around the city & talk.

I hope I don't have to spend too much more money, though. I have already used up almost 200 euros this week, and I have been trying to spend less than 100 per week because my account will not last forever, especially if I don't get a job soon.

But worrying about jobs can wait until I get back to the USA. For now, it's just worrying about how much money I spend. And it appears I spend a lot when I'm studying abroad.

15:19

I'm in the train again now. We had a great time! We talked a lot about Star Trek and language and the differences between different parts of Germany. I noticed that there is an

elevator logo that looks like the IDIC symbol the Vulcans use in Star Trek, and an

escalator logo that looks like a Starfleet insignia (and the company's name starts with the same three letters as "t'hyla," a Vulcan word.) And we went on a

boat ride on the river (not with the boat in that picture, but our boat wasn't worth taking a picture of).

All I wish is that I had made more & better plans so we could have had more time. But we did have fun, and my German got some useful practice, and I am a lot more confident now in my ability to travel by myself. And I have experience for planning my next trip.

Sun 1/19 15:00

Arrived safely at the Munich Hauptbahnhof, and caught my train back to Prien. Got there after ten last night. Had a good night's sleep.

Today I bought groceries, which consisted of four cans of noodles in tomato sauce and four little just-add-water soup cups from the gas station, the only place open today. It's hard to find anything open on Sundays in Europe, apparently. Even the Goethe Institut's library isn't, so I can't go online until tomorrow.

I wonder when I can go to a Faschingsball, one of those masquerade parties I mentioned. My

costume is just begging to be worn.

Wed 1/22 15:00

Not much has happened since my trip. Class has been going well, as usual. I'm finding this class quite easy. I think the reason I'm not in a higher level is that the placement test dealt largely with vocabulary, and my vocabulary is good, but not all-inclusive. I am learning a lot of words, though.

Sat 1/25 0:34

I hadn't realized it was past midnight! I have not been doing much, just going through the documents on my laptop & seeing how I could save space. I guess it has taken up a lot of time, though. And I'm sleepy. Good I don't have to get up early. On Sunday I'm going to a big indoor waterpark, but tomorrow (today) I don't have plans.

By the way, I am planning to meet another few Trek group friends in Frankfurt (actually Darmstadt) early in February. Yay!

Sun 1/26 18:22

The waterpark was amazing. Yes, it was dark out, and my picture of the outside of the building turned out too lousy to post, but I assure you it was wonderful inside.

I spent most of my time in the wave pool (I'd never been to a wave pool before), but I also went in the sauna and on three waterslides.

The sauna was nice, being warm & dry after splashing around in cool water for a while, although it felt kind of strange that swimsuits weren't allowed and I had to lie naked on my towel in there. The first waterslide was pretty wild in terms of having a lot of motion, but I don't remember much about it except that I got water up my nose.

The second slide was what I'm really going to remember! Not only was there plenty of turning & twisting & slipping & sliding back and forth, but the tunnel was weird colors like pink and aqua inside, and there were multicolored flashing lights on the walls, and sometimes projected pictures, and every once in a while when I least expected it I would go through a waterfall or a cold spray, and there were even a few parts where the slide was open on top and went outside the enclosure of the building, so for a moment I was out in the freezing winter air! I had never been in anything like it before.

The third slide was mostly dark, though it had a few little lights inside too, and I didn't like it as much because I couldn't see the unexpected water sprays for even a split second before they were in my face, and a few times I almost inhaled them.

But every moment was interesting! I am exhausted now and waiting at the exit where we are supposed to meet.

Tue 1/28 17:53

After that exciting weekend, things have been pretty quiet. Classes are still going well & not too demanding.

Vanasati, the friend I was going to meet in Darmstadt on Feb 7th, has found out she can't meet me until Feb 14th. I hope that's okay for Arachne, the other friend who was going to meet with us. It's okay for me-- between Prien & Darmstadt, there are actually more trains to choose from on that weekend than on the weekend of the 7th.

But it will mean waiting another week, of course.

Wed 1/29 16:13

My room is being renovated today so I have to find things to do outside it. I have already gone on the net & eaten a chocolate bar & talked with some of the other students, and now I am bored.

I get bored too easily. I can't be this uncreative. I know I can find stuff to do. Einstein said that being bored is an insult to oneself. But Einstein probably usually had a room to do stuff in.

Thu 1/30 22:54

Can't sleep for some reason tonight, so I'm getting in another journal entry. This is the end of the first month of the Goethe seminar. There is some uncertainty about whether we have class tomorrow-- all of us have heard different reports. I am planning to go to the classroom at the usual time & leave if no one shows up.

For sure, anyway, we begin a different class level after the weekend, and some new students will be arriving who are only taking one month at the Goethe Institut.

There are some routine festivities built around this significant point of the seminar. Last night there was a talent show with acting and dancing and singing. I was too far in back to get good pictures, but it was ok.

Today in class we played games and had crackers and juice and mineral water-- there was even wine. I guess many of the students see studying here as a great, once-in-a-lifetime experience, and certainly it is a unique chance to speak German with people from all over the world.

But with my plans to go on to Austria from here and study at the Vienna University for four whole months, this feels to me like just a beginning. A nice beginning, but not something that has had a deep impact on me yet. Maybe when I've been here another month, I'll feel more strongly affected by this part of the program.

Sat 2/1 16:02

I called Mom & Dad today. Not for very long, because my phone card ran out, but they were glad to hear from me.

I will have to get a new phone card next time I go to the Bahnhof. By the way, I found out what trains go back to Prien from Darmstadt on Sunday, so my visit with Vanasati is now very thoroughly planned, compared to my last visit, when I didn't know what train to take back until I was about to take it.

I like being prepared. I plan to use my Eurail pass, and I will try to get as much use out of it as I can in the next few months, by going on trips with other people in the group. I want to see other parts of Germany and Austria, and I want to get to know my groupmates better. I still am not as close to them as I would like to be.

In Mexico, my group was very close because we were one group sharing Casa Cemal, four to a room, and doing all our activities as a group. Here, we are one of many groups and individuals staying at the Goethe Institut, in single and double rooms, and when there is an activity, I never know how many from our group will participate in it. We don't even eat together very often. At least, the times I have happened to eat in the kitchen have not been times when everyone else was eating there.

I do sometimes talk with people from other groups, and that is fun, but I am worried that I am not bonding enough with the people I am spending six months with. This is the kind of system where I always somehow start spending a lot of time alone.

Wed 2/5 17:17

Wow.

I don't know how to describe how I feel.

At the beginning of this week I emailed a manuscript to a publisher: a collection of stories, poems, essays and insights that I've come up with since early high school. The title was "Born on the Wrong Planet."

I just got an acceptance letter. It came a week and a half before they told me I could expect a response, and they say just a few things will have to be changed.

This has been my lifelong dream. I should be happy. I am happy. But I am also worried. Do some of the essays say too much personal stuff about my life 'on the wrong planet'? Are there too many things in the stories and insights that would be inappropriate for little cousins to read; would my family be disappointed? What parts did the publisher want me to change? Will I look back on this years from now and think it is all horribly written and be embarrassed to death?

I should have considered this all more thoroughly before I started! I guess I didn't, deep down, really believe it might be accepted.

I guess I will have to wait until they tell me what they want me to revise, and then when I revise it, I will also change whatever I might want to change for the reasons I have mentioned. I don't know how much I can change and still keep the book basically what it was when they accepted it. Maybe I will use a pseudonym. Maybe I will give my family members pseudonyms. I really don't know what will happen.

Thu 2/6 14:21

I have communicated some more with the publisher, and told my family & friends about what happened. They all sent enthusiastic congratulations.

But I am more nervous than ever. I don't know why.

The publisher's last email said that I could wait until June to start revising, and the book would come out in 2004. (It is an e-publishing company; the book comes out in both ebook and printed version.) I should be less nervous--I now know I have over half a year to revise whatever I need to.

I guess it's like getting married, and every step of the preparation makes you more & more anxious. I hope it doesn't keep getting worse all semester! I can barely deal with the level of nervousness I'm at now!

15:49

I went outside for a snow-sculpting contest, and it was nothing like what I had expected, but exactly like what I should have expected.

People got together in teams, only about two of which actually built anything of artistic value. The rest just piled snowballs randomly together, gave them crude names and got in a huge snowball fight, everyone trying to knock down everyone else's snowman and retaliating like crazy whenever anyone succeeded. I guess it was fun, in a way, but I got tired of it after a while.

I found, though, that it relieved my nervousness to get involved in something else for a while. I guess it's not just like getting married, but also like picking a scab. If you pick a scab enough, it starts hurting if you even touch it. But if you leave it alone for a while, it will heal and you can touch it without hurting. That's kind of a weird simile, but it's how I feel.

I don't think my scab has completely healed yet, though. I can think about it without my stomach knotting up too much, but I feel as if I have to take my mind off it for a while longer before I will be totally comfortable about it. I also feel as if talking to Mom would help, but she probably won't be available until the weekend.

20:26

I wrote an email to Mom, and that helped. Then I had a nice weird conversation with Lesley and Matt and some other students.

I have not talked much about other students yet. The ones who are only staying in Prien for 1 month have arrived, and one of them is my new roommate. We have a lot in common, especially our love of language. I am still afraid I am not close enough to roommates and other students. I will have to have more conversations. But my roommate is always very busy with homework.

Fri 2/7 18:29

I am completely recovered from the nervous phase. Emailing Mom helped a lot, so much that I no longer feel a desperate need to hear her voice (although of course I'd like to). She wrote me a very nice reply, telling me not to worry.

I called my brother last night and asked him to tell her I was feeling better. Then I spent the evening revising all the things in the manuscript that concerned me.

I will still have to wait for the publisher to tell me what things he wants changed.

Anyway, he is sending me a contract right away. I don't know what I'll do. Every time I've had to sign a contract, Mom's been there to look over it with me. I don't want to agree to anything that could cause trouble for me later. I guess I will talk it over with Mom through email & phone calls, and hope it works out.

Sat 2/8 16:53

I called Mom and talked a bit. Again, the phone card didn't have much time on it, but we managed to have a nice short little conversation.

I haven't gone anywhere this weekend. I had homework, and I wasn't sure I wanted to start using up my Eurail pass so soon.

Classes are still fine. In fact, I have moved up to the Oberstufe, the highest level. I am one of seven or eight students in that class (I'm the only one from the US). The teacher is very nice, and the class seems more challenging than my previous one.

Wed 2/12 18:31

I gave a speech in class yesterday, because it was my turn to give one, and it ended up being about Tourette Syndrome and Asperger Syndrome. I thought it might be a good idea for the class to know I had them. It went well, and now some of the other students are making special efforts to interact with me-- one girl has invited me to go out to eat with her and her friends this evening.

I don't know how I feel about that. It's nice to get to know some people more closely, and for them to make some of the effort instead of me having to struggle against my social disabilities to seek out contact every time. But I don't want people to be especially friendly to me just because I have those disabilities.

Thu 2/13 20:31

Tomorrow I get on a train at about 14:40 and get off some time after 19:00 in Darmstadt! My friend Vanasati will pick me up, and I will stay with her and (I hope) Arachne until Sunday, hanging out and talking and watching Star Trek tapes. I have always wanted to see Star Trek in German. I have heard it is so badly translated that it's funny.

Fri 2/14 17:04

Here I am in the train. I've been riding since 14:42, and I should get to Darmstadt at 19:23. Everything has gone smoothly and quietly so far.

Sat 2/15 7:57

I met Vanasati at the station, and we got in her car and went to her house. She got out bread and cheese and jam and stuff, and I made sandwiches for myself, and then we watched a tape, and then I went to bed in her kids' room.

This is so cool! Vanasati is such a nice person, and my German is being good to me, not suddenly falling apart into broken first-year German the way it sometimes does when I try to have an everyday conversation.

We will meet Ara at ten-something this morning and eat together. Wow!

Tue 2/18 11:01

Haven't gotten many chances for a journal entry since the weekend. It's a break in class now.

The weekend was great! Vanasati and Arachne and I had so much fun talking about Star Trek and German culture and everything. We talked mostly in German, and I could usually figure out what to say, but they understood me when I had to say something in English. Best of all, of course, they understood my German!

We went to a castle called Frankenstein on Saturday morning. Not a king's castle or a lord's castle, just a fort where "Raubritter" hung out-- "robber-knights," like Robin Hood. (On Halloween each year there's a huge party there.) It was beautiful, but I forgot my camera again. Rats.

The rest of the time we watched tapes. We didn't end up seeing any Star Trek, but we watched a lot of Sentinel. It was great! I had never seen Sentinel before, and Jim & Blair are so cute.

I got back Sunday evening. Since then things have been quiet. I got the publisher's contract in the mail yesterday. I'd gotten an email version earlier, and sent it to Mom and Judy, a newsgroup friend who's worked with copyright law. Mom says it looks okay. Judy is still looking at it. To me it looks fine, though I don't know much about those things.

There is a Faschingsball next week at the Goethe Institut! I will finally get to wear my costume! Yay!

Wed 2/19 20:21

Still not much going on.

Classes are going ok. The Oberstufe has a new professor, not as every-minute-entertaining as the last one, but with a good teaching technique.

Don't know where I will go this weekend. I kind of want to travel more with the other students. There is a trip to Innsbruck on Sunday. It costs 25 euros, so I would need to go to the bank, but I think it would be a good thing to do.

Publisher asked me to email them latest revision of manuscript. I did, and they will spend the next week or so looking at it and then tell me what to change.

Paper version of contract is still sitting on my desk, although publisher asked me to return it signed. The email version was just to print up in case the paper version didn't reach me. The paper version is what will really get me into this. I'm still waiting for Judy's reply.

I might even send the contract back before I hear from her, if it takes her really long to answer. I am pretty sure it's a good contract. Mom approved it, and while she's a doctor, not a lawyer, she is kind of a renaissance person. And it looks like an ok deal to me.

Thu 2/20 17:10

I decided not to go to Innsbruck on Sunday. Instead I am going to Salzburg with some other Goethe Institut students tomorrow. I don't know how many from my group will go-- there was a trip to Salzburg last month, and the ones who went may not want to go twice-- but I didn't go last time, and I want to see the salt mines and everything.

I sent the contract to the publisher today. I had signed it but hadn't mailed it yet, and I had mentioned that in an email to the publisher, and he replied that since I had already signed it, he was registering me for everything, and I realized I couldn't really turn back even if I wanted to, so I went ahead and mailed it.

And by now I am sure I don't want to turn back, anyway. They may have different ideas from mine about some things, but they are the first publishing company that has ever accepted me, and I am not picky at this point about who fulfills my lifelong dream.

Sat 2/22 13:21

I will not forget my camera.

I will not forget my camera.

I will not forget my camera.

I will not forget my camera.

I will not forget my camera.

I will not forget my camera.

I will not forget my camera.

I will not forget my camera.

I will not forget my camera.

I will not forget my camera.

There, I hope that helped. DARN it. Salzburg was so nice, and once again I couldn't take any pictures.

I had kind of been expecting we would go to the salt mine, but we didn't. We wandered around and looked at some castles and ate in some cafes and went shopping in some little stores, and in the evening we went to a concert, and all in all, it was an enjoyable little trip.

There was mistletoe growing on the trees. Wild mistletoe is much prettier than the little sprigs people buy in the US for Christmas. It grows in big delicate lacy spheres, hanging among the branches of deciduous trees. I suppose you could call it a parasite. But I don't know if it does the trees any harm. It's like a bromeliad, or Spanish moss.

I don't know what I am going to do today and tomorrow. The library is closed today for some reason, and it's always closed on Sunday. Maybe I'll go to the store and buy a few little things, like chocolate. I can't get enough of the chocolate here!

Email to friends, Feb. 25
Subject: Masquerade Balls, Robot Goldfinches, and Butt Parties

Hi!

There is a Faschingsparty tonight-- one of those dances where everyone comes in costume!! There is a

notice on the door of the Goethe Institut saying that the dance is tonight and everything. The note is in German, and it tells that there will be a party afterwards in one of the residence halls. The people making the sign tried to find a German word for a party that happens afterwards, and wound up writing "After-Party." Now, "Party" is the same word in German and English, but in German, "After" means "anus." I don't know, maybe the English meaning for it has come into use in Germany, but I was sure surprised to see it there.

At the party, my class is putting on a little presentation of a song. It's a very silly song about some birds having a wedding. I remembered bits of it from a little book I had at home; it's apparently a pretty well-known song.

There is some weird stuff in it. For example, the bride is an "Amsel" (blackbird) and the groom is a "Stieglitz" (goldfinch). In terms of genetic closeness, that would be about like a human marrying a capuchin monkey. But there's some weird genetic stuff going on already in that family, since the mother of the bride is an "Eule" (owl).

All the birds participate in the wedding... the ducks play music, the peacock dances with the bride, the lark brings her to the church and so on. It goes all the way to the finch leading the couple to their bedroom, the owl ("der Uhu," a bigger owl than the bride's mother) closing the windows for them, and the bat (not a bird at all, of course) taking off the bride's stockings. Then they all say goodbye and go happily home.

Anton, a guy from South Africa (who has a wife and kids of his own) is playing the bride. I am playing the groom. It just makes everything sillier that I will be wearing a robot costume. I made my costume weeks ago, and I'm not about to wear something different just so I will look like a bird in a play.

Anyway, I'm glad to be finally getting to go to a masquerade ball, and I hope I have a good time there. And what the heck, maybe I'll go to the anus party, too.

Love, Erika

Tue 2/25 23:13

The dance was great! The whole class was there, including several of the people in

this picture . We did our presentation, which was greeted with a great deal of applause and laughter. Anton wore a silly mask, a long blond wig, a stuffed bra, and thigh-high fishnet stockings, the last of which got immense appreciation from the audience when the student playing the bat removed them.

There were a few bits of confusion about little things like which direction one of us should go on the stage, or what the words to a particular verse were, but they mostly just made it funnier, and I think we did pretty well for having planned it all out only this morning.

Several other presentations took place, and then we all did some dancing, and later there was a visit from the

Faschings-royalty , who danced very nicely for us.

I saw a lot of neat costumes. One student in my group and her gentleman friend went together as an angel and a devil. One girl went as Zorro. Many men went as women. My favorite costume belonged to my roommate from last month, who dressed up as German grammar. She had the articles for the nominative and dative and accusative cases on the front of her shirt, and prepositions on her sleeves, and irregular verbs on her back, and a head-scarf with big question marks all over it. I loved it!

I'm too tired out to go to the after-party, though. And I have to sleep if I expect to get up for class tomorrow.

Thu 2/27 10:41

We're in the bus, heading for Vienna. Once again I am sitting alone and having no conversations. What happened to the lively social life I had in Mexico? How can I get closer to the others in my group? I have tried sitting with them at meals and talking, but I always end up saying something stupid, or something they think is stupid, or not being able to think of anything to say at all. I guess my social skills just thrive in some environments and wither in other ones.

Sun 3/2 12:10

I have been in Vienna since Thursday. We came here by bus and arrived at our dorms late in the evening. My

dorm building is called Studentenzentrum Donaufeld. The first night I had a temporary room because my room was being cleaned, but now I have settled into the

room I will have for the semester. I share it with a nice lady from the Czech republic. I am also making friends with the girl who now lives in my temporary room; she is from Mexico and is thrilled that someone here speaks English and Spanish.

Yesterday we went on a scavenger hunt, which for some reason is called a Schnitzeljagd in German. We split up into groups; each group was supposed to find the best route to various places and answer questions about the places themselves.

Among other things, we explored a

church that had vending machines inside, selling CDs. "How spiritual," I commented, and photographed them, even though it was way too dark.

At one point, I used an opera toilet. It cost 50 euro-cents, and had opera music playing in the background, and the

stalls had fake curtains and numbers on them to look like seats in an opera house. It was the ultimate kitschy tourist trap. I loved it.

After the Schnitzeljagd we went on a real guided tour of the city, and learned a lot about Austrian royalty over the past few centuries. We saw the Stephansdom (church of St. Stephen) and I took

two

pictures . On the Stephansplatz, the area around the church, there is always something going on. That day there were

people dressed up and painted to look like metal statues, trying to get donations for something. There were also musicians and jugglers and stuff. It was really interesting.

But mainly we talked about the Habsburg dynasty and looked at palaces, like this one that we saw

from the street and then later

up close . We had a

group picture taken, and Kevin threw a fit because he wasn't ready when the camera went off and he ended up in profile with his eyes closed.

There is so much stuff to do! We have to register for classes, and for visas, and for student accounts, and I have to get a tick-borne encephalitis shot, and get set up with the internet in my dorm, and get a semester ticket for public transportation, and so on, and so on, ad infinitum. Bleah. And I have to go to Lotte's house and pick up the stuff I left there, but my phone won't work to call her, and I don't know what to do.

18:57

Well, I got to Lotte's house and picked up my stuff. I got off at the wrong station on the way there, but not disastrously wrong, and a few kind strangers explained things to me.

I was lucky enough to arrive at a time when everyone was home. Lotte was glad to see me, although she was quite repetitive on the point that I should call before I visit, in case no one is there. We had a nice conversation and some cake. Then I took the train back to Floridsdorf with Gregor and Bernhardt, took the subway to my dorm by myself, and put away my things.

The subway and streetcars are fun to ride. From the U6, you can see things like the

garbage-burning building designed by Hundertwasser, with its tall

chimney .

Tomorrow, I hope, is the day I will get a lot of things done that need to get done. I would do them today, except nothing is open on Sunday. Rats. Das Leben ist grausam und schrecklich gemein, das Leben ist grausam und Klaus ist ein Schwein.

Okay, that was a bit too much. I am not miserable enough to start quoting the Prinzen. I must think happy thoughts.

Oh wie liebe ich mein Fahrrad...

Mon 3/3 18:10

Things I have learned today:

Near the Floridsdorf station, there is a "Meldeamt" to turn in your "Meldezettel" to notify the authorities that you have moved into the area and will be staying for a while.

To do this, you need a stamp and signature from an official of the dorm where you are staying.

You also need your passport.

When you try to turn something in, and they tell you they can't do it without a stamp and signature, and you leave to go get those, you should take advantage of that opportunity to ask whether you also need your passport. That way you won't return with the stamp and signature but without the passport, and have to make a second extra trip.

Do not buy a bottle of mineral water at the vending machine on the way out of the Meldeamt. The bottles from the vending machine at the Floridsdorf Meldeamt are unopenable by the human hand.

If you make the above mistake, it is a good idea to wait until you get to someplace that has a bottle opener. It is not a good idea to hit the bottle against something. All that will do is crack the glass.

If you make the above mistake, it is a good idea to throw away the bottle. It is not a good idea to try and drink the mineral water through the crack in the glass. It is possible not to swallow any broken glass while doing this, but it is impossible to do it without getting a big cut on your upper lip that bleeds like crazy.

If you make all of the above mistakes, it is okay to laugh at yourself afterwards. In fact, you thoroughly deserve it. But wait until your lip heals.

Ouch.

Tue 3/4 22:55

Oh, and a few more things I have learned since that eventful Meldeamt visit:

Although there are two washing machines at the Studentenzentrum Donaufeld, the same number as at the Goethe Institut, you can find far fewer times when one of the machines is available than you could at the Goethe Institut.

The washing machines at the Studentenzentrum Donaufeld do not always accept the coins you put in them. Sometimes a machine will take your first coin, then refuse the second coin no matter how many times you press the "return change" button and put it in again. It will also refuse to give back the first coin by means of the "return change" button.

Pounding with all your strength on the machine does not solve any of these problems. At most, it will make the metal band of your watch dig into your wrist, leaving a cut that goes nicely with the one on your lip.

People can live for a while without clean clothes.

People can also live for a while in a foreign country before it becomes absolutely necessary to get a visa. This is fortunate, considering the many complications of visa-getting.

When finding the Polizeikomissariat where you need to get your visa, consult a map first. Do not get lost and panicked all over the general Floridsdorf vicinity before it even occurs to you that there is a nice new map sitting unused in the bag hanging from your shoulder.

Polizeikomissariats sometimes change the format of the form they ask you to fill out. The form given to you by your study abroad program, which you filled out and brought to the Polizeikomissariat, is not always the latest model.

When you try to turn your visa form in, and they say they can't accept it because it is the old kind, and they give you one of the new kind to fill out, and you leave to go fill it out at the study abroad office... take advantage of the chance to look at the sign on the door on the way out. That way you will know that the Polizeikomissariat is just about to close and you will have to come back tomorrow to turn in the form. This will save you an annoying extra trip.

But take heart: With every stressful experience, the sense of panic gets a little less strong. It really does.

Wed 3/5 12:00

I still have not gotten the visa taken care of. I went this morning and they gave me a form and told me I had to go to a doctor and have the doctor fill out the form. It would be nice if they would tell me all this stuff at once! I have been there three times so far!

I hoped to get a lot of stuff done in one or two days, but I have only taken care of the Meldezettel and the semester ticket for streetcars & subways . I still have to get a visa and a student account, and register for classes, and get set up with the internet in my dorm.

I tried to get the internet on Monday but my computer won't open the program they gave me, and the guy who might know what's wrong is sick, so I have to wait for him to get better.

At least I finally got a chance to wash my clothes. They're drying now. I hope they're done before I have to leave to go to 20th Century Literature this evening.

Fri 3/7 13:27

Okay, this is getting old. I have gone to the Polizeikomissariat way too many times in the past few days, and have had to leave it for way, way too many reasons.

First Time: Left to fill out the new form, being unable to sign in with the old form.

Second Time: Left because I had gotten there when the place was already closed.

Third Time: Left because they said I had to see a doctor. It turned out I would only have had to see a doctor if I were staying more than 6 months, but they didn't ask me how long I was staying.

Fourth Time: Left because they said I had to go get copies of everything, and a piece of paper saying where I'm living.

Fifth Time: Left to get a statement from my bank account, and a different paper saying where I'm living, the previous paper not having been sufficient.

Sixth Time: Left because, once again, the place closed before I got there.

And it's closed on the weekend. I certainly hope that on Monday, I can add this:

Seventh Time: Left because they finally decided I had enough stupid stuff to get a visa!

Sat 3/8 10:36

I have not yet forgiven the universe and myself for being so inefficient and stupid about visas, but at least this morning I came to peace with a certain nutritional element.

Some days ago I had been shopping for milk, and I had almost decided on the brand I was going to buy. It was inexpensive, came in a large carton and claimed to have a reasonable shelf life before opening. But then I noticed a few words on the front of the carton: this milk was fortified with "Eiweiss." Egg white, in milk? I grimaced and bought another brand.

But this morning, reading the nutrition information on my iced tea carton to keep my brain busy while I ate breakfast, I noticed that word again. "Eiweiss." Okay, egg white in milk I could maybe understand, but egg white in iced tea? And listed in the nutrition information? The number of calories, the amount of carbohydrate, and then the amount of... egg white?

So I went to my dictionary. Aahh. Okay, now I understand. "Eiweiss" does mean "egg white," but it can also mean "protein."

So now I am satisfied; there is no egg white in my iced tea, and I don't have to worry about finding it in milk either. I love language. There is always more to learn.

By the way, I found out about the term "after-party." According to some German friends of mine on the internet, people who speak German have been using the English meaning of "after" for quite a while now, in various compound words like "after-party" and "aftershave." Mostly they manage to keep it separate enough from the anatomical meaning that one doesn't occur to them when they see the other. Fascinating, isn't it, how words find their places in people's minds.

It's also interesting to see little cultural differences. For example, in Germany and Austria, there has been something of a movement to get men to pee sitting down. This might have to do with the fact that many

toilets in these countries have the drain in front, and the flushing water comes from the back, meaning that there is a sort of dry, raised area in the middle, off which pee would probably splash in all directions if it came from someone standing up.

Disgusting speculations aside, I've seen some funny statements on the subject when visiting people's houses. In one bathroom, a sign over the toilet said "Bitte im Sitzen pinkeln" ("Please pee sitting") with a picture of a man sitting on the floor facing the toilet and peeing into it from there.

In another bathroom there was a sign that read, "Nur der ist ein gestandener Mann, der auch im Sitzen pinkeln kann." The meaning of this is more or less "Only a real man can also pee sitting," but the pun on "gestanden" and "sitzen" is lost in the translation.

Email to friends, composed Mar. 9
Subject: Things going more or less ok in Vienna

Hi everyone!

Our two months in Germany ended on the last day of February, we took the bus to Austria, and we have been living in Vienna for more than a week now. We will be here until the end of June.

Not all of us are in the same dorm. My dorm building, Studentenzentrum Donaufeld, has only two from our group in it. It's a pretty nice place to live, though. Comfortable rooms, and lots of athletic facilities (if that kind of stuff interests you), and an internet connection for everybody. Except mine still doesn't work; they gave me a program or something on a disk, but my laptop won't open it, and I have to wait for the guy who might know what's wrong to recover from some illness he has contracted.

So this is the first chance I have gotten, since I arrived here, to send one of these messages-to-everyone. In fact, I'm writing this at noon on Sunday, March 9, on my laptop in my dorm, and hoping to save it on a disk and send it when I get the chance. I actually don't know when I will get the chance. Probably tomorrow I can get a few minutes on one of the computers in the Central College Office.

For those who haven't caught this bit of info, Central College is the college in Iowa that is leading my study abroad program. They have an office on the campus of the University of Vienna, and they offer a few courses that we can take in addition to courses at the University. Like University courses, they are taught in German by native German speakers, but I think they are probably a bit easier because the teachers know that none of the students speak German as a first language.

I have signed up for three Central-College-sponsored courses: "Romantic German Literature," "20th Century German Literature," and "Theater." I only added the Theater course a few days ago, so I haven't had a chance to attend that yet. I also haven't yet attended "Aesthetics" and "Philosophy of Fin-de-Siecle Vienna," the two University classes I hope to take. They begin this coming week: tomorrow and Friday. I tried to find out how to sign up for them, and nobody seemed to know, and I was advised just to show up on the first day. I hope that will work. The Austrian process of getting into classes does seem a lot less formal than what I'm used to.

Aside from getting into classes, I have gotten a few other important things done. I turned in my "Meldezettel" at the "Meldeamt," to let them know that I have moved into the area and will be staying for a while. Whenever people move into anyplace in Austria, they are supposed to do this right away, whether they have come from the USA, from Germany, from another city in Austria, or wherever. Austria likes to keep track of exactly where everyone is.

I also got a semester pass for subways and streetcars. It only lasts until sometime in April, and then I guess I'll have to get a new one, but it's still a lot more convenient than buying a ticket for every ride.

I still might get a student account. I hear that US cash cards tend to get swallowed or ruined by Austrian cash machines. It hasn't happened to mine yet, and I have travelers' checks, but buying all one's own food costs a lot and I don't know how long my travelers' checks are going to last me.

Also, I need to get my visa or Aufenthaltserlaubnis or whatever you call it. I still don't have it, though not for lack of trying. I have been to the Polizeikomissariat four times (six, if you count the times I went there and found it closed) and each time they sent me away because I was still missing some additional piece of paper they needed in order to give me a visa. The last time, they looked over my stuff, pointed out two things I had to get, and assured me that everything would be complete when I got them... so I really hope the next time I go there is the last. Sheesh, everything can be SO COMPLICATED.

So, that's the news. I hope you're all doing well.

Love and peace,

Erika

Sun 3/9 19:07

This has been one of my most boring weekends ever. I was going to go to Munich with another student but I couldn't find her. That's the trouble with all of us living in different dorm buildings.

I ended up staying here. NOTHING is open on Sunday! There were free postcards in the lobby, though, and I wrote to my family. I'll try to get stamps & mail them tomorrow.

Mon 3/10 9:26

I was stupid to be so optimistic about the visa.

Seventh Time: Left because I ran out of time. I took my number, and watched as more and more people went in and out but the number on the screen didn't change, and once in a while someone would announce that anyone applying for a "Fuehrerschein" or a "Zeugnis" could come in, but nobody ever mentioned a "Visum" or "Aufenthaltserlaubnis," and when I opened the door to ask where I fit into all this, they told me to wait my turn, and by this time I had only half an hour left to get to my class, so I had to leave.

And now I will have to wait ANOTHER day because by the time I get out of class, the place will be closed for today, probably. I HATE THIS!!!

Wed 3/12 19:47

Perhaps the problem is that on Monday I was too pessimistic. It looks as if eight is a luckier number than seven.

Eighth Time: Left because I finally had enough stuff to get a visa!

But I barely had time to celebrate before I had a serious outburst of hyperactivity in class, last night. I hadn't thought the results of missing my evening pills could get so bad! The other students were more concerned than anything, but I got really, really mad at myself afterwards and sank back into pessimism & depression.

I can't pay attention in class at all now. I managed ok in my first University class on Monday, but how am I going to handle the one on Friday? Well, I don't have any classes on Thursday-- maybe that will help relax me before I have to deal with my Friday classes.

Thu 3/13 10:35

I don't know what to do today. Last night I got online at the Studentenzentrum Donaufeld cafe, and I had an email from our Austrian relative Lilly, asking if we could get together for coffee. I told her I would love to, but that if we're going to talk on the phone & plan where to meet, she'll have to be the one to call me, since my phone doesn't seem to work for making calls, only receiving them. I gave her my number and told her Thursday is a good day to call.

Then there was an email from my dad, with a list of Austrian friends and relatives who'd like to hear from me. I replied, thanking him for the phone numbers, but also explaining my trouble with making calls. I mentioned that if he and/or Mom and/or my brother wanted to talk sometime, they could call me, and I said Thursday is a good day to call.

But the trouble is, I think I forgot to mention the number. And I can't leave my room to use the net, because Lilly might call, plus the cafe is only open in the evening and I don't know if the Central College office is open today.

So I am going to have to wait to give my parents my number. And it's okay, they probably wouldn't be able to call during the day on Thursday anyway. I just feel stupid thinking that they've probably emailed me saying I forgot the number, and I can't answer them until tonight.

Fri 3/14 19:29

I can't believe myself! I fell asleep in class today! On my first day of the Aesthetics course, in almost the front row of the room! For the whole first fifteen minutes! What kind of a first impression is that to give the professor? I'm so mad at myself, but I really had no idea I was so tired. If I had, I would have made sure to get a nap somehow before class.

And then, after I woke up, I hardly understood a word of the lecture! I really hope it was just from having missed the beginning, because it would NOT be convenient for this to be a class I can't handle.

Lilly didn't manage to reach me yesterday. Mom & Dad didn't either, even though it turned out they had my number. They emailed me, though. There seems to be some weird system of hours when I can and can't be called. I really don't understand.

Tomorrow I will have to see if Lilly can meet me at Stephansplatz on Sunday. I asked her in an email this morning when I used the Central College computers, but I haven't gotten her reply yet. The net cafe here is closed on Fridays & weekends. But I know one that is open all week, and I will try going there tomorrow.

Sun 3/16 10:05

I'm having coffee with Lilly this afternoon at 3. Right now I should be doing homework. But the reading for the Fin-de-Siecle class is so complicated, and I am so tired all the time, and having so much trouble concentrating on anything at all.

And I don't know how I am going to find opportunities to visit all the relatives who want me to visit them. Onkel Karl called last night when I was already trying to sleep, and he went on about how everyone was wondering how I was doing and trying to reach me. I would love to visit people, but there is so much else to do!

Sun 3/16 20:12

Had fun talking with Lilly. Feel better now. Even read a few pages of Fin-de-Siecle. But I'm tired still.